7/31/2023 0 Comments Murasaki meaning![]() Those who end up contradicting themselves and those who disparage their companions are also carefully watched and listened to all the more. But women who are too vain and act pretentiously, to the extent that they make others feel uncomfortable, will themselves become the object of attention and once that happens, people will find fault with whatever they say or do: whether it be how they enter a room, how they sit down, how they stand up or how they take their leave. No matter how amorous or passionate you may be, as long as you are straightforward and refrain from causing others embarrassment, no one will mind. To be pleasant, gentle, calm and self-possessed: this is the basis of good taste and charm in a woman.If only I can avoid putting off those for whom I have a genuine regard. Her Majesty has also remarked more than once that she had thought I was not the kind of person with whom she could ever relax, but that I have now become closer to her than any of the others. How embarrassing! Do they really look upon me as such a dull thing, I wonder? But I am what I am. They all said she was pretentious, awkward, difficult to approach, prickly, too fond of her tales, haughty, prone to versifying, disdainful, cantankerous and scornful but when you meet her, she is strangely meek, a completely different person altogether!" "Well, we never expected this!" they all say. ![]() As a result, they now look upon me as a dullard. There are times when I am forced to sit with them and on such occasions I simply ignore their petty criticisms, not because I am particularly shy but because I consider it pointless. Aware of my own insignificance, I had at least managed for the time being to avoid anything that might have been considered shameful or unbecoming yet here I was, tasting the bitterness of life to the very full. How would it all turn out? The thought of my continuing loneliness was unbearable, and yet I had managed to exchange sympathetic letters with those of like mind-some contacted via fairly tenuous connections-who would discuss my trifling tales and other matters with me but I was merely amusing myself with fictions, finding solace for my idleness in foolish words. For some years now I had existed from day to day in listless fashion, taking note of the flowers, the birds in song, the way the skies change from season to season, the moon, the frost and snow, doing little more than registering the passage of time. As I watched the rather drab scene at home, I felt both depressed and confused.
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